I know hard work.

I know 50 hours work weeks, hiring and firing employees, trying to reconcile an A/R report that hasn’t been looked at in 2 years, dealing with angry clients and/or angry parents, mediating employee differences, implementing new policies and procedures, testing new protocols, creating and maintaining employee files for upwards of 200 employees, etc.
I know hard.

I know 20 hour work weeks, on top of 15 credits of classes, on top of church callings, on top of planning a wedding, on top of roommate disagreements.
I know hard.

But motherhood is a completely different type of hard and a completely different type of work.

It involves days spent holding a baby who starts screaming when you put him down, changing diapers, wiping up spit-up, and feeding your little one every hour. It involves sleepless nights (and days), forgetting to eat, and a messy house. It involves piles of laundry and not brushing your hair in 48 hours.

And while that doesn’t sound too bad before it’s you – once you’re thrown into the midst of it (and you are thrown, there is no way to prepare) you find what you thought was “easy” compared to your work schedule is actually just as hard.

There are no lunch breaks, no company parties to attend, no recognition to gain.
You are with this tiny human 24/7.
And if you aren’t with the little babe – if you go on a date night, or if someone else has the him while you shower, or grocery shop – you are thinking about that babe every minute you are gone.
Worrying if they are happy, if they miss you, if they’re crying, if they’re hurt.

Having a promising and rewarding career is amazing. I greatly enjoyed my time as a Human Resource, Billing, Office, and Operations manager. I felt needed, I felt like I had found my niche, and that I was good at what I was doing.

And then I had Abe.

And while I may not get to brush my hair in a 48 hour span, and while I may only shower twice a week…. I also feel needed, and like I have found what I am meant to be doing.
It is hard.
It is exhausting and draining work.

But it is oh, so worth it.
(And it does get easier as it goes on.)