I’ve never been one to love getting fit. Sports and physical activity were never my thing.

Growing up I did the occasional sport, t-ball one summer, a handful of dance classes, field days at school. But I never loved it (other than dance, but we didn’t really have money for me to take dance classes regularly). Once I hit junior high, I started taking the dance classes the school offered, and I ended up auditioning for and making dance company and drill team my senior year. I absolutely loved it. I was in great shape physically, but had horrid eating habits. I’m not sure my exact weight when I graduated but I think it was somewhere in between 100-110 pounds. I wore a size xs or small shirt, and wore pant size 3 and 5.

Both taken the spring of my senior year of high school.

When I got to college I kept taking dance classes (ballet and modern) for two years, (still wasn’t eating great though) but I eventually stopped during my sophomore year. I needed to focus more on my major schoolwork, and the more advanced dance classes you take in college, the more time extensive they are – not to mention the long walk down to the PhysEd building, plus the time it takes to get undressed and dressed before and after each class. So. I quit. My last dance class in college was fall semester 2008. I still kept in fairly good shape, mostly from all the walking I did at work and to and from school.

Left: Summer 2008 // Right: Summer 2009

Kyle and I got married in May 2010, and I was probably around 120 pounds. I was still pretty thin. I think the first year of our marriage I still was a pretty healthy weight – probably 120-125 pounds. I exercised every so often, but not enough.

We moved to Pocatello after I graduated school in August 2011 for Kyle to start his graduate program. And it pretty much went downhill from there. We were both extremely busy. Neither of us had the time to make or eat too many home cooked meals. We ate a lot of fast food or convenience style meals (boxed mac and cheese, for example) and over the next 2 years my weight just kept edging up. I had months when I tried to exercise — a bit of the 30 Day Shred here, a bit of jogging there — but nothing too routine. I also had a hardcore addiction to Dr. Pepper. But luckily in March 2012 I decided I needed to kick the habit and went off soda completely – cold turkey! I have since added back the occasional non-caffeinated soda into my life, but I still haven’t had a DP, and only have had a few sips of Mountain Dew. Go me!

So, last August (2013) we moved to Post Falls. I was planning on really buckling down and getting into shape. Like I said, we had just moved, so I was still looking for a job, and had a lot of time on my hands. We were also going to California in December and I wanted to be in better shape for that, too. Of course… A week after that, I found out I was pregnant and then was dreadfully sick, and all ideas of working out went out the window. But below are the “before” pictures I took the week before I found out I was pregnant.

August 2013, approximately 145 pounds.

I didn’t work out during pregnancy, but still only gained about 20 pounds (well, probably closer to 25, if you count the pounds I lost then gained back). I was really proud of my  minimal weight gain.

2 days before having Abe.

Once I got home from the hospital after having Abe, I weighed myself out of sheer curiosity. I was down about 5 pounds (and was still really bloated from IV fluids). I was back at my pre-pregnancy weight about 2 weeks post-partum, which is awesome! But that’s where I’ve been since (and my baby is 5.5 months old now). Once I got the ok to work out, I began working out semi-regularly. Doing some Rockin’ Body work-outs, or going on walks/easy hikes, or kayaking…. But not at a set schedule. I’ve gotten pretty good at dressing myself in ways that make me look smaller than I am. But that’s not the same as actually liking what my body looks like.

This was me on Friday.

I am absolutely recommitting myself to working out every day but Sunday. I have no excuse, and I need to do this. For my health – both physical and mental. I want to love what I see in the mirror. While I don’t think I am the most ugliest, overweight person ever, I know that I can look better. I want to feel good about myself and be able to do more physical things (hiking, etc) without getting out of breath. I want to run my mile faster and do another 5K. I want to be in better shape for my next pregnancy. And of course, I need to eat healthier. Kyle and I have gradually been doing this and are doing really well for the most part. I really struggle with portion sizes and craving chocolate.

So, here are my goals, in list format.

1 // Work out EVERY day except for Sunday and follow the Rockin’ Body calendar.
2 // Continue to plan, make, and eat healthy meals.
3 // Focus on portion control, eat slower.
4 // Drink at least 4 cups of water a day (I know I should drink more, but let’s start small).
5 // Limit sweets to 1x a week.

I know they are small, but I’ve got to start small before I build up. I know I can do this. I am probably the laziest person on the planet, but I need to kick the lazy habit in the bum, and work on myself. I actually started doing goal #1 last week and I am pleased to say that I completed 6 out of 6 workouts! I fudged the RB calendar around a little bit, but still did 6 workouts. I know this is just the beginning of reclaiming my body and I’m excited to see where it takes me.
(PS, I really hate running but really want to be a runner! Anybody else have this problem?)

Have you struggled with your weight? Do you have any tips for me?