This past month I’ve been sponsoring Lauren over at 34 Magnolia Street and it has been great! Lauren is so kind and cheerful, and all her posts are golden. You should definitely take a look. When she approached me with ideas for our collab post, this one stuck out to me, and I had a lot of fun writing it! Although I’m not technically a “newlywed” anymore (this is our 5th married Christmas!) I think these tips can really apply to any stage of a relationship.
And now, on to the holiday steps! Take a look at our 7 tips to surviving the holidays as a newlywed. Can I get an amen?!
1 // Talk about your plans ahead of time.
I remember when we first got married, our families started asking us about holiday plans way before we had even discussed it. We both had our own separate holiday traditions with our families – it was tough to iron out how we wanted to spend the holidays! Sit down together and discuss what is most important to both of you, and go from there. Know that there has to be a give and a take because you’re learning to combine your two upbringings into one!
2 // Don’t be afraid to say no.
Even with just one family, the holidays can be a little crazy — now with two, it can seem downright impossible to plan anything! Just know that it’s okay to say “no” to some parties and get-togethers. You don’t need to go to great-aunt Bertha’s stocking exchange, where she will be the only person there you know. Try to focus on the times when your immediate families plan to all be together — a Sunday dinner, or a Christmas Even party. And then go from there to see what other less important activities you can fit into your schedule.
3 // Try to combine families for a holiday event.
This may not work for some of you, but for our families it does sometimes. My mom and sister live about 45 minutes away from my in-laws, and sometimes they will join Kyle’s family for family parties, or my in-laws will drive to her mom’s for dinner. That way they can spend time with both families. Lauren’s family and in-laws are about a 6 hour drive apart, so it isn’t quite as easy to combine them. They have talked about it, though, and would love to make this happen someday!
4 // Set boundaries.
This doesn’t just have to apply to the holidays, but life as a couple in general. This really goes along with our first step – you may not be able to attend every little event your family or in-laws are doing. Likewise, you are your own family now, and as such, you are entitled to your own life. Don’t be afraid to stay home on Christmas morning with your spouse to enjoy that time together. You don’t have to rush off to your parents’ (or in-laws’) house at 6 am to make sure you can open all presents together, then rush off to the next house for Christmas breakfast/lunch/dinner, etc. Spend time together with just your husband.
5 // Make your own traditions (and don’t forget to compromise).
Going along with number 3, since you are your own family unit, now is the time to create your own family traditions! Both you and your spouse will bring different expectations and traditions into the mix. Talk about them, explain them to each other and then pick the most important ones. Don’t forget to compromise and communicate. This is also the time to incorporate some new traditions!
6 // Less is more.
We can’t ignore it – gift-giving is a part of the holiday season! And often, especially in new families, gift buying can be stressful. There are so many people to buy for, and I know I feel that pressure to give well because I love my family! Remember, though, that this season is so much more than just gift giving and receiving. It’s about spending time with your family! Less is more when it comes to gift-giving. Get creative! It doesn’t have to be the best, newest thing out there… even though that may be hard to believe when you’re the giver. Don’t let that pressure build up – the thought really does count!
7 // And of course, don’t forget to focus on the reason for the season.
We can get so caught up in festivities and presents and the busyness of the season that we often forget why we are celebrating. Take the time to sit down, read a book about the Savior, or even the Christmas Story in Luke, and really ponder why we celebrate this time of year. And then talk about it with your spouse. If we are able to do that, I guarantee that the planning and rushing of the Christmas season will be lessened and we will feel much more at peace, despite the busyness.
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Tell us! What would you add to this list? What helped you survive the holidays as a newlywed?
