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My Two Psuedo-Dads

January 28, 2015
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Left: Stephen Hales // Right: Brent Israelsen with his daughter, Dani
via // via Dani’s facebook page


This past week a lot has been weighing on my mind. The majority of my time has been spent thinking about the Hales and Israelsen families — Stephen Hales, the head of that family, passed away last Wednesday from cancer, just two short years after his eldest son died, also of cancer. Brent, the head of the Israelsen family, is in the hospital after suffering a severe stroke last Tuesday. These two men have been so influential in my life, as have their families. You see, they both have daughters who are my best friends, and so, if you’ll indulge me a little… I’d love to go down memory lane.

In early fall of 1997, I met Alexis Hales in Mrs. Russell’s third grade class, at Wasatch Elementary in Provo, Utah. I had been new the year before, but hadn’t really  made a best friend. Lexi was new that year, and our quiet, bookish selves were drawn to each other and we became inseparable. I have a million memories of Lex and I couldn’t put words to them all if I tried. Lex has 6 siblings — an older brother, who was in 5th grade at the time, a younger sister in kindergarten, plus 2 more brothers and a sister at home, and her mom was pregnant with another girl. I quickly fell in love the family and spent countless hours there over the next few years. During the summer we would have week-long sleepovers, and I remember many magical summer nights spent in her back yard. Her mom and dad treated me like their own, and her siblings basically became mine.

In early fall of 1999, we met Danielle Israelsen, who was new, in Ms. Linford’s fifth grade class. We quickly became friends, and soon were quite the little trio. Dani opened up the world of pop music and dance to us, and we performed in the talent show both 5th and 6th grade years. We spent a lot of time at her house as well (they had a pool!) and were constantly running around together.

After performing in the talent show in 6th grade. Lexi’s mom bought us all matching outfits.
From left to right: me, Lexi, Dani.

The summer after “graduating” from elementary school, Dani and I both moved and started attending different junior highs. I still kept in contact with Lex, though, and we tried to get together at least a few times a year — which generally ended up being over General Conference weekends. Dani and I had moved to neighboring cities, and also kept in touch and spent quite a bit of time together over the course of junior high and high school. 

At mine and Dani’s surprise 16th birthday party in 2005.
From left to right: Dani, me, Lexi.

2007 found us all graduating from high school, and we all attended BYU. Lex and I had a class together sophomore year, Dani and I were roommates sophomore year, and also took a class together junior year. 

As I’ve stated before — these two and their families have influenced my life so much. Lex and I still keep in contact, although not frequently, and I was so glad I was able to attend her wedding in 2012. And Dani. Oh, my Dani. This girl is still hands down my best friend in the world. I even spent the night at her house when I was in Utah last month. I have spent countless hours at her house, with her family, and her family is still and will always be my second family. We even joked that her mom was “Grandma Dana” to my little guy, and her sisters are like my own. I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to see their whole family last month, including Brent. Oh, I love them.

Since this is intended to be a tribute to the fathers, though, let me share with you my favorite memory of each of them, to see if I can capture in some small degree what influence they have had on my life.

Stephen:
In 5th grade, Lexi and I worked on a science fair project together, and I so vividly remember the night that Stephen took us to his office and used his graphic design knowledge to help us create a presentation. We drank strawberry-kiwi soda and ate Hershey’s chocolate bars. We giggled the whole night, and our presentation looked amazing. That is just how Stephen was. Always willing to help, always kind. (You can read a beautiful tribute written by his daughter Matisse here. Obituary here.)

Brent:

One of my favorite memories of Brent is when Dani and I were freshmen in college. We had both just moved in to our apartments, and I was visiting her at hers. Her dad was there, and gave us both priesthood blessings — blessing of comfort and peace as we started the year, living on our own for the first time. I was so touched that he would take the time to do that for me. He also printed off some tips for college, and he had made a copy for me — again, I was touched. And that’s how Brent is, always smiling, always ready to help in any way. 

I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to know Stephen. He has touched countless lives, and will be missed by so many. I’d love it if you could offer up a prayer at this time for his family, though, as they have already suffered a great loss, and now this — I am sure prayers of comfort and peace would be welcomed, especially for their son, Sam, who is currently serving a mission. 

I am also grateful that at this time, Brent seems to be making a recovery, although there is going to be a long road ahead for him and his family. Prayers for them are also appreciated. 

Thanks for reading, I apologize for the length, but really felt like I needed to write this all down, and post it. Both of these families are so remarkable and special to me, and I felt the need to share their stories. 
photo Britt3-1.png

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Wife to Kyle, and momma to Abe, Eliza and Jonah. I'm a stay-at-home momma by day, and a blogger by naptime. I graduated from BYU with a degree in Human Development, and I love to read more than anything. I love my Savior, and sharing His love for others is my greatest passion.

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