I’ve been writing this blog post in my head for a while now, and I’m not sure if I can do this topic justice, but I feel so strongly about it that I have to try.
50 Shades of Grey. We’ve all heard about it. Even if you’ve been living under a rock you’ve probably still heard about it, given the attention it’s getting lately. Back when the first book came out in 2011 it (seemed it) was instantly successful and immediately had a large following. Many dubbed it “mommy porn” and women started to eat it up. I’ve never understood this. There are many that criticize and condemn men when it comes to pornography, yet some of these same women were reading books like 50 Shades like it was no big deal.
Well, guess what? It is a big deal.
However, I’m not here to harp on the negative aspects of pornography. I’m here to harp on the fact that all 50 Shades of Grey does is glorify abuse. Now, before we go any further, I want you to know that I haven’t read the book or any of it’s sequels. I have, however, read multiple articles and reviews about them, and believe that I am pretty well versed in the plot line and content of 50 Shades. And guess what? It’s ain’t pretty.
In case you need a rundown, the book follows a 21-year-old college student, Ana (who is a virgin, mind you) as she becomes involved with a powerful and wealthy business man, Christian. And what follows is a whirlwind of an abusive relationship involving BDSM. I’m not here to tell you BDSM is wrong, whatever you want to practice in your bedroom is your own prerogative as long as it doesn’t cross the line of abuse and it’s consensual. But in 50 Shades, the line of abuse is crossed one-hundred fold, again and again. And, from what I have read, sometimes it’s not consensual. I have read multiple reviews and excerpts of the book where Christian will beat and dominate Ana, even when she asks him to stop, and then present her with gifts or acts of “love”. In the second book, he buys the company that she works for so he can keep tabs on her. He is manipulative and controlling and makes her sign a contract, detailing that she may never discuss what they do together. Does any of this scream normal to you? Or love, for that matter?
No, and no.
50 Shades is not a love story. It is not a romance novel. It is a novel where a manipulative and violent man seduces a virgin so he can play out his crazy, violent, sexual fantasies, and then guilts and manipulates her into “enjoying” the game and staying with him. This is not love. This is abuse. Emotional, physical, and mental. It is abuse. And nothing more.
On Saturday, the movie adaption is being released around the world on Valentine’s Day. The fact that a movie version of this book is being released is sickening, but the fact that it is being released on Valentine’s Day, as a celebration of “love” is absolutely infuriating.
And since this movie gleaned an R rating, guess what? Many young, impressionable pre-teen and teenage minds are able to go and see it. And so what will this obsession with 50 Shades teach them? To the girls, it will teach them that being subjected to man’s will is ok and even something wanted, especially if you are “in love”. To the boys, it will teach them that subjecting women to violence and rape and abuse is not wrong and that they can do whatever they would like to girls. We are teaching our children that this kind of relationship is normal and acceptable.
Is that how we want our kids to grow up? Is that how we want them to act? Is that what we want the future of our nation to be build upon? The fact that this new violent “love” has taken the place of good, old-fashioned, romantic, tender love?
NO.
I cannot and will not stand up for this. I am furious at Hollywood, I am furious at the writer, I am furious at all those that do not see how damaging a book and movie of this type are. Open your eyes. Pull back the shades. And see the truth. You are worth more than that. Everyone is worth more than that. Sex should be sacred and love should be kind. Abuse should not be glorified. Let’s remember that and use our money to glorify God, and not abuse.
(PS, the irony that this man’s name is Christian is not lost on me. It furthers my disgust for the series. Also, did you know that 50 Shades was first written as a Twilight fan fiction? Yeah…. Don’t get me started on that one.)
Wife to Kyle, and momma to Abe, Eliza and Jonah. I'm a stay-at-home momma by day, and a blogger by naptime. I graduated from BYU with a degree in Human Development, and I love to read more than anything. I love my Savior, and sharing His love for others is my greatest passion.
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