I’ve talked before about my breastfeeding story and decision. As a little recap, I breastfeed Abe for 3 months, and hated pretty much every minute of it. Later, after doing some research, I came across the D-MER diagnosis, and it fit.
This time around I decided that I would try out breastfeeding, and see how it went, with no expectations. I wasn’t looking forward to breastfeeding, in fact, just thinking about it gave me anxiety, but I knew there wasn’t a guarentee that I would have such a hard time physically and mentall again, so I would give it another try this time around.
And so, when Eliza was born, I tried to breastfeed her as soon as possible. But little lady wouldn’t latch on. Or if she did, she wouldn’t suck. After a few times trying to get her to eat, using different holds, having the lactation consultant help me, etc. we tried to give her a bottle of formula. And she still wouldn’t latch on. In fact, it took about 24 hours for her to finally start to take a little milk out of a bottle. (Thank goodness!) And since she wasn’t breastfeeding, I had Kyle run home and get my breast pump, so I could help my milk come in.
When we got home, K and I made the decision that I would pump, so that Eliza still got some breast milk, but that I would supplement with formula as much as needed and not worry about it, and that we would solely bottle feed, since it was the actual breast feeding that was giving me anxiety.
And so, I pumped. And after my milk came in, I was still barely getting an ounce a day. But I kept it up for a few days because I knew it was important and I felt good about it. But then… I developed a UTI. And I had to go on antibiotics. Which meant I had to dump the milk that I was pumping. And I did that for a week. And I still wasn’t making very much.
And so, we made the decision to stop with the pumping. To switch fully to formula, which we had been doing anyway, since I had been having to dump my milk. And to be honest? It took a huge weight off of me. If I hadn’t had to pump and dump for a week. and if I had been producing more milk, I most likely would have stuck with it. But, it didn’t work out that way, and that was ok.
Women who formula feed, whether by choice or by neccessity, get a bad rap sometimes. (But then, so can women who breastfeed.) For me, personally, formula brings me happiness. Using formula lessened my anxiety, it allows me to be the best mother to my children that I can, it helps me be me and being me makes me happy.
There are many wonderful types of formula, among them, Gerber® Good Start®. And now, Gerber® Good Start® offers formulas without GMOs in a effort to meet the preferences of fomula using parents. Gerber® Good Start® cares about parents and cares about babies and cares about our happiness. And I for one, am so glad there are brands out there that make formula, so that moms like me can feed our babies and know they are getting the nutrition they need.
My Breastfeeding Decision here.
A Look at D-MER here.